0206 am 'Get This' news

program date: 
Tue, 02/05/2008


Get This:  Southern states have done something that has seriously pissed off their Maker.

Chris Andreae



  1. Let’s Make A Deal:  Kevin ‘Mandatory Minimum’ Mannix says – rather flirtatiously, I dare say – that he might drop his latest tough-on-crime measure if legislators agree to lengthen prison sentences for some burglars and drug dealers.
  2. Marbled Murrlets-1;  Timber Industry-0:  A federal judge in DC denied an American Forest Resource Council challenge to a decision  by the US Fish, Wildlife & Slush Fund Service to leave the murrlets on the Threatened Species List.  (In the very near future I can see it coming:  Every living wild thing will be assumed to be threatened and we’ll just keep lists of the few creatures that are still Okay…)
  3. Somebody wake up Sherwood’s Gift to Government, Larry George.  He’s the guy who thought the legislature did not need to work this year because the State wasn’t facing any serious problems.  Well, guess what, Larry?  Legislative budget chiefs are nervous that what’s left of Oregon’s economy is slipping away (Not if Ron Wyden and the Economic Development Commission have anything to say about it.  They’re selling our soil to the highest bidder even as you, I and Larry George continue to snooze…
  4. California also is running out of runs.  The salmon just aren’t there any more.  The number of fish returning to the Sacramento River is flat-lining.  And who can blame the fish?  Have you seen the river lately?  You wouldn’t want your worst enemy to have to spawn there…
  5. You say You Want a Revolution?:   The Olympia SDS is hosting the Northwest DNC/RNC Conference at Evergreen State College this weekend.
  6. An Animal dupes a nation of Vegetables into handing over its Mineral wealth.  Yes, the Bush administration wants to extend a new law that transfers millions of dollars in mineral royalties from states to the federal government.  And that would be A-Okay with me if the money stopped there – that way we’d stand a chance of seeing it again – But the trouble is this particular government is going to hand the money right over to the private sector before the blood is dry on the paper…
  7. Be Careful What You Prey On: Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, Arkansas and a number of other Southern states have obviously had a misunderstanding with Gawd Almighty  (Something to do with supporting Mike Huckabee, is my guess…).  Tornados have so far killed 48 people.   Still, what could these Bible-thumpers possibly have done to piss off their Maker so much?  Megapreachers are silent on the question which leaves the national imagination to run wild…
  8. One earmark that Bush probably won’t cut is the $500 million slated for turning Yucca Mountain into a glow-in-the-dark garbage dump.  (Note to opponents:  That money is going to look good on the environmental lawyers’ lives…And good on ‘em, I say.  We’ll keep fighting until the money runs dry.)
  9. Case In Point:  In Alaska, a confrontation between Big Oil and environmentalists starts today when the US invites bids for millions of acres of polar bear habitat in the Chukchi Sea.  If you can’t come up with a few dollars to send to the environmental defense teams that are going to fight this one to the death, then don’t complain when the bears are officially extinct…(Actually, polar bears, tigers, giraffes – all the species who have evolved phenotypically and genotypically in perfect unison with their highly specialized environments over the course of millions of years, they are already dead.  When you destroy the habitat in such cases, you destroy the creature that is part of it…)
  10. When water hits $100 dollars a barrel…More than 40 Texas farmers, ranchers and irrigation districts are gearing up to take their long-standing water war with Mexico to the next level – which turns out to be a Canadian judge.  The farmers sued Mexico for $500 million dollars for shorting them on Rio Grande water from 1992 to 2002.
  11. A lawsuit filed yesterday challenges a Dallas suburb’s latest effort to keep out undocumented immigrants by barring house rentals to people who can’t prove they are in the country legally.  (That’s a large chunk of Texas right there.  And it begs the question:  who the hell wants to live in “a suburb of Dallas” anyway…)
  12. Now that Philip Shenon’s book, The Commission:  The Uncensored History of the 9/11 Investigation is out, a group of survivors wants a real investigation instead of the carnival of Thieves, Liars and Lackeys that cranked out a batch of sausage that smelled so awful it could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon.  The 9/11 widows whose political activism lit a fire under officials the first time around want some real answers this time.
  13.   Yesterday was not merely Tuesday, but Super Tuesday.  And unless you spend the winter in your Safe Place, you know what everyone else does.  Now the fun and games begin:  It’s time to take a peek underneath the Empire’s robes…
  14. You’re either a ‘Vatican’ or a ‘Vatican’t’:  Pope Benedict takes the ‘Possession by the Devil’ problem seriously  (Obviously His Holiness has been following the Britney Spears saga in the tabloids…).  Unlike you and I however, the Pope is actually going to do something about it:  To which end he is “setting up exorcism squads to deal with the rampant growth of Satanism”.
  15. Bush:  The Man of the Century!  (The 11th century)  The president is threatening to veto an update to his draconian “terrorist” surveillance laws.  (Update them from what, the 9th century AD to the eleventh?)
  16. CIA Director Michael Hayden is the first administration official to publicly acknowledge that the US does in fact use   the torture technique known as ‘waterboarding’.  The method has been banned out right since the Nuremburg Trials and for the last 500 years or so, “civilized” countries have rejected the practice as inhumane.  But it’s a New Day in America .  (Turns out we’d been asking the wrong guy.  Mukasey:  ‘Waterboarding’?  Never heard of it!  Hayden:  ‘Yeah.  Sure we use it!’)
  17. The Navy has come up with a deadly new electromagnetic railgun.  The thing shoots its ‘projectile’ 230 miles at speeds ranging from Mach5 to Mach 7.  Says the Navy, “We don’t ever want to see a sailor or a Marine in a fair fight.”  (Picture the ballistics tests:  ‘Here,  put this apple on your head and stand 230 miles away…No, a little to the right…That’s good.  Ready?’)
  18. The military’s top uniformed officer says that US forces are “significantly stressed”  by fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, while simultaneously trying to “stem the tide of terrorism elsewhere.”  (Idea:  Stop fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan and chances are that there will be a whole hell of a lot less “stress” and not much “elsewhere”). 
  19. Fortunately – or not, as the case may be – the Pentagon is all over this “stress” problem.  We’re going to send in The Drone.  There’s got to be Drones.  (Yeah, but has anyone thought about adverse reactions to stress in Drone?  I thought as much…)
  20. More British troops with extra firepower are being sent to Afghanistan.  (Wha?  They didn’t learn the first two times the Afghanis kicked their arse.)
  21. South Africa is protesting plans to sanction Iran – and South Africa is on the Security Council, although not one of the five permanent – voting permanent – members.  So we’ll see where that goes…
  22. Asian markets took a dive.
  23. Israeli leaders rejected the idea of securing the Egypt-Gaza border with Egyptian border guards or even an international force…And in their spare time, the Israelis are threatening a ground invasion of Gaza.
  24. Murdoch, She Wrote:  And in Italy, Silvio Berlusconi is looking Comeback in the face and not blinking.`         



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