01.08.08 am 'Get This' news

program date: 
Mon, 01/07/2008


01/08/08 Get This

Chris Andreae


  1. Make It Real!:  Many Americans have observed healthcare in this country is nothing short of a craps shoot.  Oregon is out in front of the pack - as always - on the issue.  The Oregon Health Plan is accepting two thousand new applicants a month via a lottery system.  Not that the plan itself is actually expanding:  Nope.  The Lucky Winners are merely taking the places of those who have either died or decamped for sunnier healthcare climes – like Bulgaria or Cuba…
  2. The Dems are making a list and checking it twice:  The next legislative session looms and although at least one Republican believes that there are no pending crisis for lawmakers to address, the Democrats want to increase police and monitor foster homes.  Or increase foster homes and monitor police.  The connection is unbearably linear with a minor detour through GOP-patrolled anti-abortion territory.  How about a law mandating that every anti-choice male in America be assigned a minimum of three parentless babies.  The guys will pledge all their income for twenty years for the care, feeding and education of the kids.
  3. Fright of Fiendship:  Travel Super Agent, and Portland Business Alliance eminence gris, Sho Dozono is running for mayor.
  4. Open Seats-On:   Five City Council seats are open.  When the music stops, watch the stampede.  When the dust settles, watch the malaise return.
  5. Running Men, Running Mouth:  Meanwhile, back on the campaign trail, Steve Novick has virtually ‘quit his day job’ to run for Gordon Smith’s Senate seat and House Speaker, Jeff Merkley is betting the farm on the coming legislative session:  If all goes well in Salem, he’ll have himself a campaign.  If not, he’ll have to run to catch up with Steve.
  6. The BLM is revving its engines and out gunning for more timber production and ATVasion in the last of Oregon’s wilderness.  Hunters and fishermen are joining environmentalists on this one – and they are better armed….    
  7. Last Man Standing:  Former Chicago gang-banger Jose Padilla has spent enough time as a guest of the government to drive anyone batshit crazy.  The only bright side to the disgraceful chapter in American jurisprudence is this:  With any luck, he’ll so off his head he won’t feel a thing when they put him away for life.  And that is exactly what’s in the works this week.  (Since we are half way to war with Iran, you won’t feel a thing either…)
  8. The Supreme Court can’t seem to get its little string of pop-bead brains around the lethal injection issue.  This really seems to beg the question:  Why are we even considering the best way too kill people?  The rest of the world has moved on.  (Here’s an idea:  What say we display the severed heads of the executed on the wrought iron spikes fencing the White House off from Reality…)
  9. No Trial Left Behind:  Then there is the question of what to do with the poor until they are old enough to be incarcerated:  and an appeals court is considering just that this week.  School districts in three states and the nation’s largest teachers union sued the government because although the president’s No Child Left Behind is the best advertisement out there touting privatized education, there are still a  few people scattered around the country who believe in public education and would like to see it funded.  Charter schools are where we bury the bodies, y’know…
  10. After 23 years in a US prison Kenny Richey of Edinburgh, Scotland is heading home.
  11. Sick Of Poverty: Black people get inferior treatment for cancer.  The reason?  Well, racism, natch.  But factor in the form of economic apartheid America currently wallows in and it’s amazing minorities receive any healthcare at all.
  12. Sit tight, polar bears;  It’s going to take a few more weeks to get you on the Endangered list.  Why?  Because this is the first time potential species extinction can be directly attributed to climate change. 
  13. Don’t have the cash to buy your own politician?  Not to worry!  You can still buy a souvenir of America’s Vanishing Democracy.  Dennis Kucinich is selling voting machines from that fateful fork in the road, the Year 2000.  For $200 dollars you can hop in the Slime Machine and take a trip down the wormhole.  (Best of luck Dennis!  It may be a weird way to raise campaign funds but it sure as hell beats selling one’s soul to Israeli lobbyists…)
  14. Iraq, Iran, Irwrong:  The US military juggernaut was confronted by a couple of small Iranian boats in the Strait of Hormuz (This is as important to US interests as standing on the right corner is to a desperate junkie…).  The Americans say that the Iranians sent them insulting and/or threatening messages – though how they would know this when it is not likely that any of the Americans understood Farsi is difficult to imagine.  So now we are well on our way to war with Iran…just as a weak, expendable George Bush is about to arrive in Jerusalem.  From the Republican King-making point of view, Bush is a liability at this point.  But his “political capital” as a martyr would convert that liability into an asset over night. 
  15.  Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wants to redistribute his nation’s wealth – like maybe to Switzerland…?
  16. Israel says that two Katushya rockets arrived from Lebanon – and not by Fed-ex.  (And not from Palestinians either.  My guess is that, since there were no injuries, Israel fired the rockets at itself as a sort of ‘opening act’ for the presidential visit.)
  17. Don’t bet in it…Israel claims to be considering releasing Marwan Barghouti.  (Great that leaves 9,999 Palestinians behind Israeli bars.)
  18. And the Israelis obviously got the memo from the US media:  They also trumpeted the evacuation of illegal settlements in the West Bank.  (Might as well…After the 08 election is over they can all move to Texas and leave the smoking crater for the remains of the Middle Eastern population to move into…)
  19. The Grassy Knoll Goes East.  Rumor – otherwise known as ‘US intelligence’ – has it that the bombing/shooting/sunroof assassination of Benazir Bhutto was a cover-up.  (And they should know:…)
  20. But just in case, Pakistan says No to foreign troops on its sovereign soil (Translation:  Please Allah, don’t let the Americans liberate us…)
  21. In Kenya, Kibaki and Odinga are ready to ‘Use their words.’  And US media in an exuberant burst of naïve racism showed Barak Obama’s family sitting outside their Kenyan home listening to the results roll in from New Hampshire.  It’s going to get really weird from here on out…



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