0501 am 'Get This' news

program date: 
Wed, 04/30/2008

 

Get This:  May Day for Labour!  May Day for immigrants!  And May Day in general for America as a whole…

Chris Andreae

05/01/08

 

  1. May Day?  And how!, America…Apart from a general call for help, May Day action organizers are issuing a call for a complete shutdown of all 29 West Coast Ports.  Wowie!  Think of the chaos when shoppers found the shelves at WalMart and Home Depot empty?  You want riots?  We gotcher riot right here…
  2. Bail Me Out, Scotty:  The Oregon Court of Appeals ruled that state protection against witness tampering/killing extends before a trial – or even before charges are filed.  Which seems reasonable because that’s when the perpetrator is often still running around loose.
  3. Mental Breakdown:  Oregon’s largest mental health provider is about to go under.  Cascadia Behavioral Sciences is broke.
  4. Like virtually all of the rest of us, Sho Dozono owes back taxes and rent.  Unlike virtually all of the rest of us, Dozono is a millionaire businessman currently running for mayor…
  5. In Other Businessmen Running for Elected Office News:  Mike Erikson loaned himself a quarter of a million dollars;  unlike virtually all the rest of us who have never even loaned ourselves a quarter…
  6. Republicans – like the proverbial rats – are rushing to change their party affiliation.  (Rude Awakening, eh, when they find out that the grass is the same shade of green on  either side of the fence…)
  7. All-Aboarding:  A woman in Mississippi is doing five years for calling up the Feds and telling them that her 18 year-old nephew was a terrorist.  This, in order to stop him from getting on a bus in Oregon and going to Mississippi.  (Granted, riding The Dog from Portland to Stateline, Miss. would be  torture, still …).  Sometimes the strangest people aren’t just the ones on the bus sitting next to you…And don’t bother calling Cascadia Behavioral because they are on a bus heading South as well.
  8. Also heading to Club Fed:  A fellow in Seattle cut a massive power line in order to send the message that killing Luna, the Orca was just plain wrong.  Four thousand utility customers lost power,  young Gabriel Mondragon lost his arm and Luna the orca is still on that old Bus Heading South…
  9. It Can Happen Here:  Remember George Miller’s shazam flick,  ‘Mad Max’ – Before we knew about Mel Gibson’s Problems?  Well, it’s happening here.  Petrol bandits stole a diesel tanker truck from a construction site in Sisters, Oregon.  The tanker’s owner, Taylor Northwest, has $2500 dollars for anyone who brings them their oil truck back.  (Go, little Feral Kid!)
  10. Arbi-Traitor:  In Los Angeles, an arbitrator is ordering the union that represents dockworkers at West Coast ports to tell its members they must report to work today.  Two things, here:  One, since when does an ‘arbitrator’ ‘tell’ workers to go back to work?  Aren’t they supposed to, well, arbitrate?  And, secondly;  If this ‘arbitrator’ gets sacked for fucking up on the ‘arbitration’ bit, does he/she have a decent union to go to bat for him/her?  Just curious, y’know…
  11. The LAPD says that it investigated more than 300 complaints of racial profiling last year and dismissed the lot.  The department’s oversight commissioners were “incredulous.”  Said Police Chief William Bratton – in a truly Rumsfeldian turn of phrase, he would have his staff conduct a survey of other large urban police departments as well as the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department in order to back up his belief that the findings are similar everywhere you go these days.  Indeed..  (How about bringing in an arbitrator?  I hear there’s one about to be unemployed who might work for below scale…)
  12. And a federal appeals court in New York has dismissed a lawsuit filed by NYC against gun makers.  (How about an arbitrator?  Unless he’s been shot by a Los Angeles cop because he looked a little bit Hispanic…)
  13. More from The City That Never Sleeps:  The New York Port Authority is liable for damages caused by the 1993 World Trade Center bombing.  (So give it another decade or so and then we’ll see who’s liable for 9/11…)
  14. ‘Would You Like Files With That?’  The hilariously corrupt Republican crony, General Services Administration chieftess), Lurita Doan had to resign.  Why oh why? you ask…For starters, she blatantly “helped” fellow Reps get re-elected and then there’s all that government contract kickback money…
  15. Why is it Always a ‘Dick’? Dept:   Congress says it has just learned that Congress has no control over the golem known as Creepy VP, Dick “dick” Cheney.  So be sure to pick up a couple of extra deadbolts and some ammo before the West Coast ports shut down.  And stay safe out there…
  16. It might be May Day to you…but to Germany last night was Walpurgisnacht.  As if anyone needs an excuse to go out and raise a little mayhem.
  17. Germany plus the rest of the world celebrated the years biggest No to institutionalized racism and capitalism.  And how do you spell that? W-A-R.
  18. The US military celebrated May Day in its own way by bombing Somalia today.
  19. Israeli Defense Forces celebrated by kidnapping a bunch of Palestinian children.
  20. And in Zimbabwe, Morgan Tsvangirai says there is no need for a second round of voting because he totally won the election.  (Alas, there isn’t much left of Zimbabwe  after Robert Mugabe got finished with it…
  21. Obituary:  Albert Hoffman, the Father of LSD died at his home in Switzerland.  He was 102.  (So if you want to live a long and seriously happy life…)

 

 

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