0924 am 'Get This' news

program date: 
Sun, 09/23/2007

09/24/07 Get This

Chris Andreae


  1. The Price Is Right:  Finally…The Whiz Kids at the Bureau of Land Management have realized that wilderness is of tangible economic benefit to the State of Oregon.  Unless and until this whole country gets the message, we can plan on continuing the downward spiral into environmental disaster.  This is indeed The Clash of  Values:  The net worth of wild lands versus the profit motive driving governments to manufacture destruction in order to clean up on the eventual clean-up…( Addressing the underlying causes would eradicate many environmental, economic, health and labor problems.  But that would eliminate the symptoms and that’s where the real money is:  Every disaster is a profit-making opportunity for Somebody…)
  2. The Urban Land Use Institute says urban residential sprawl is a major factor in the production of greenhouse gases.  But this is a problem with an intrinsic solution:  The suburban hordes are conveniently killing themselves off though over consumption of  everything from food to pesticides to antibiotics to petrochemicals.  (Too bad they’re so toxic otherwise we could eat them…)
  3. A State audit found out that schools made false claims to the tune of about three hundred thousand dollars for students in alternative education programs.  Excuse me…We spend millions of dollars on a daily basis killing inn9ocent people and blowing up houses and businesses, roads and bridges, and there’s a problem with a few hundred thousand dollars?  Let’s not sweat the details.  A few million dollars a day spread across the whole country would buy a hell of a lot of education – alternative or otherwise…
  4. Marriage in Oregon is down – unless you count the ephemeral dream of same sex marriage.  If that were legal, then marriage in Oregon would be up.
  5. Casus Belli:  Oregon is threatened by invasive species.  We could go after the root causes: Climate change, globalization, carbon squandering.  But there’s time to be wasted and plenty of money to be made further on down the road when the situation has become so dire that a cowed population will pay any price to be relieved of the Plague-of-the-Month…
  6. The Oregon Food Bank’s cupboards are bare.
  7. I.C.E. Storm:  Homeland Security is cracking down on people who have traffic violations but lack the documents that confirm they have entered the country legally.  (Look at it this way:  This is a windfall for the prison industry….see above.)
  8. New Yorkers disgraced themselves by throwing rotten fish at Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.  Ahmadinejad is stateside to speak before the United Nations.  The tabloids displayed their shit-stained, hirsute soft, sleazy underbellies.  You don’t have to scratch deeply at all to discover the beady-eyed bigotry of the American people.  Never mind the fact that the 9/11 guys were Arab for the most part.  And Iran is not an Arab nation, Persian, actually.  And Iranians had absolutely nothing to do with the malign negligence that brought the twin towers down…
  9. Foxed Again:  Before leaving Tehran, Ahmadinejad pointed out to the world in general that the American people had been “denied correct information.”  Indeed.  But even when provided with accurate information,  FOX is so much sexier…
  10. And to make matters worse, American diplomacy marches boldly into the fray, loudly proclaiming that Iran is smuggling missiles to Iraq.  (How disingenuous.  Even American movie-goers know that the international armaments trade is the biggest game in town – but you’ll need Russian, Pakistani and North Korean passports.  American? That’s the card that’s welcome worldwide.  Iran has closed its northern border with Iraq, which means Pakistan will be shipping out of Karachi for the duration…
  11. Throw The Switch, Igor:   The APIS program is about to come on line.  For years the TSA, Homeland Security and any number of other domestic spy agencies have been collecting data on passengers.  Now they are set to implement the APIS (Think ‘bees’, think ‘sting’…) program which screens passengers before issuing boarding passes.  Unless, of course, you own the plane…
  12. State of the Union:  The UAW is about to walk out.  It’s been decades since the union went to Strike City with General Motors, but don’t ask me.  Here’s what UAW chief Negotiator Cal Rapson says:  “In 2007 company executives continued to award themselves bonuses while demanding that our members accept a reduced standard of living.  The company’s disregard for out members has forced our bargaining committee to take this course of action.”
  13. Blackwatergate:  Iraqi Prime Minister, Nuri al-Maliki is standing his ground – now that all eyes are on Ahmadinejad – and demanding that Blackwater pay for the Blackwater shootings.  (Wake up, Nuri!  America is almost entirely privatized.  Blackwater is far, far beyond the control of any government, yours or Bush’s.  You want to go after Blackwater?  You’re on your own, Lil Pard…)
  14. Where’s Dick?:  In case you were wondering – and I know you were – what the Vice President is up to, Cheney has “been mulling the idea of pushing for limited Israeli missile strikes against the Iranian nuclear  site at Natanz – and perhaps other sites – in order to provoke Tehran into lashing out.”  Yes, Dick, that would probably be enough to push their buttons…(Plan ‘B’?  The US Air Force is reestablishing the elite fighting force which planned the 1991 Gulf War’s air campaign and tasked them with “fighting the next war.”)
  15. Afghan President Hamid Karzai cozying up to the Taliban.  (I believe that at this point in history we’re all with Hamid:  a little bump of opium would calm the nerves superbly…)
  16. Condoleeza Rice wants to have a little Peace Party – just the US and a few close friend from the Middle East.  This is going to be in November, the invitations aren’t out yet, so don’t worry if you didn’t get yours.  I’m sure it’s on the way.
  17. Competing Gulf Emirates, Dubai and Qatar spent about $2 billion dollars on shares of the London stock exchange last week – a sort of hedge for the day when the oil wells run dry.  
  18. And in Burma, tens of thousands of people joined two thousand Buddhist monks in the streets to protest the ruling junta and demand the release from house arrest of Aung San Suu Kyi.  


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