0817 am 'Get This' news

program date: 
Thu, 08/16/2007

08/17/07 Get This

Chris Andreae


  1. The Falcon Has Landed:  And taken off again….’Operation Falcon’, a major sweep of fugitives and felons last week turned up 175 people who had outstanding warrants.  (But wait !  There’s more!  What with the impending ‘Operation Noble Resolve’ coming soon to your neighborhood, let’s think this through:  As we know, ‘Noble Resolve’ is part of a joint forces national disaster wargame event that started on the east coast back in April.  The idea is that every federal agency known to man (And a few others we don’t know about, I expect) is converging on Portland to pretend to respond to a nuclear attack.  Okay.  So figure that part of this exercise will involve rounding up suspects based on profiles typed into computers and the resulting list of names…Hey Presto!  ‘Operation Falcon’ again.)
  2. In Washington County a deputy taserd a driver for resisting arrest.
  3. The Clackamas County Sheriff’s Office arrested two of its own for interfering with young  - seventeen, in one case - women.
  4. Portland Mayor Tom Potter fired Lieutenant Jeffrey Kaer.  Kaer’s long history of violence might have predicted he would show up at his sister's house to cope with a “suspicious” car …in the middle of the night…while he was off duty…in an area outside his precinct…and shoot the driver dead…without ever calling for back-up.
  5. State law enforcement wants help from reporters and their sources in its investigation of Multnomah County Sheriff, Bernie Giusto.  How ethical that is, is questionable.  On the other hand, so is Giusto’s behavior….
  6. There’s a total of $9 thousand dollars waiting for the person who has information leading to the arrest of the shooter who killed a female grey wolf that wandered across the border into Oregon from Idaho.  (Fancy that:  Oregon is now more dangerous than Idaho for wolves….)  
  7. The Bush administration’s version of a Forest Service yesterday came up with new rules for governing the nation’s last few acres of wildland.  As you might have guessed these rules mean more logging near streams, more clear-cutting, degradation of the environment, its denizens, human and animal and the end of clean air and water – and forget salmon.  But what the hell…it’s only money…
  8. The Oregon Trail School District is doing its best to kick military recruiters out of high schools.  Failing that, the Board wants every student and every family to get hold of opt-out forms.
  9. Evergreen Aircraft has added a new type of enormous transport plane – all the better for moving large numbers of troublemakers to “an undisclosed location” -  from Boeing.
  10. Mercy Corps is sending aid to North Korea.
  11. The Eggplant That Ate Chicago:  Whole Foods consumed Wild Oats.  (Choke on it, Whole Foods, Wild Oats is a non-union shop…)
  12. We’re running out of food because agribusiness has jumped on thee ethanol bandwagon with a vengeance.  So there’s nowhere to go but up.  There’s plenty of land left on top of skyscrapers.
  13. A Mine Is A Terrible Thing To Waste:  A second cave-in at the Crandall Canyon coal mine killed three rescuers who went in to get the six already trapped down there.  (What is it about, ‘Stay Out Of This Mine’ that people don’t seem to understand?)
  14. Jose Padilla has been declared guilty of an ersatz array of trumped-up terror charges.  And the media has gone back to calling him ‘Pah-dee-yah’.  Padilla told them not to do that long ago at a news conference and it stuck for a while.  But now, after having driven the man mad while in confinement, the feds are taking away the man’s last shred of human dignity, his very name….
  15. Suicide rates in the military are on the rise.
  16. Patrick Leahy, the last brave man in America, is seriously going after Alberto Gonzales and he’s taking the Senate Judiciary Committee with his every step of the way.  (The trouble is, these people are dangerous when they are wounded and cornered.  You know hat they say, ‘If you pull a gun, you better be prepared to…’)  And perjury is just for starters…
  17. The CIA and the FBI have altered their own Wikipedia sites to reflect their open, compassionate human side.  (That way their Facebook page will get more hits?)
  18. The US is sending another $30 billion dollars in military aid to Israel in case we hurt its feelings by sending advanced weapons to Saudi Arabia.  (A nice box or chocolates and some roses would have sufficed, don’t you think?)
  19. Upon the one-year anniversary of the end of the Lebanon war, we learn that there are at least – at least – one million unexploded bombs in that nation.  (What about the second year anniversary?  The Israeli Army?)
  20. The world’s politicians want us all not to panic over this little stock market “correction.”  Just keep shopping and going to church and watching FOX and…Hey, How ‘bout that crazy Phil Spector!
  21. Matchmaker, Matchmaker Catch Me A Catch:  The US wants Pakistani president Pervez Musharraf and Benazir Bhutto to shake hands and get together to form a government.  (That one is going to take chocolates, roses and advanced military weaponry…)
  22. Heat is killing people everywhere.
  23. Malaria is down in Kenya because of insecticide-laced mosquito nets.
  24. Hugo Chavez is concentrating his considerable powers in order to insure that Venezuela gets socialist and stays socialist.
  25. The US is heading full speed back to Tora Bora (All they’re going to find is a pile of AK-47s, a Quran and a dusty old dialysis machine, but as long as we’re in the neighborhood, might as well stop by…)
  26. Rigoberta Menchu, the Nobel prizewinning, Unesco Goodwill Ambassador, Guatemalan presidential candidate and spokeswoman for indigenous rights worldwide, was thrown out of a five-star hotel in Cancun.  The staff thought she was a beggar or a street vendor because she was wearing traditional Guatemalan clothing.  “If there’s anything else we can do to make your stay a pleasant one, just let us know…”


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