0705 am 'Get This' news

07/05/07 Get This
Chris Andreae

1. Since 1990 the Republicans have been sitting on Salem’s face and Oregon’s lowly service industry employees had to clean up after the party. But things changed this year and the Democrats are, ‘back on top’ so to speak. So far it’s working out well for workers. As long as the Dems don’t do anything stupid, we still have a chance to undo some of the mischief made in the last 16 years…
2. “I Shot the Sheriff”: Here’s the dilemma: They’re union members and they are cops. So whom do you root for in this particular movie? The union representing the Sheriff’s Office sued the Department of Community Justice and won. Pass the popcorn…
3. The Guv signed a biodiesel bill that includes – what else? – ‘tax incentives’ for both growers and producers of crops used to make ethanol. But there’s a turd in the pudding, tree-huggers: These ‘tax incentives’ are a giveaway to agribusiness and the genetic engineering industry….and let’s not forget that agribusiness itself is wholly dependent on the oil biz for its high octane fertilizers. Happy trails, everyone!
4. Getting ‘Aggro’: Even ‘Bunky’ Moon and the United Nations will tell you that the Biodiesel Fairy is the devil in disguise. It’s the same old energy whores tarted-up to look Green, at the expense of the Usual Suspects, the worlds’ impoverished multitudes. The move to “agrofuels” is will only marginally lower climate change emissions and reduce US and Chinese oil dependency. Plus, higher food prices are profitable for large-scale producers while at the same time threatening the economies of food-importing countries as well as the urban poor. So the Project for a New American Century got a twofer: energy and economic revolution.
5. Not So Smart: The City of Portland paid $75 thousand dollars for three Smart cars that would have cost $14 thousand dollars each by 2008. (Guys will pay anything to get their hands on The Next New Gadget. (Suggestion: Cancel the Commissioners’ subscription to Wired Magazine…)
6. Measure 37 goes to the voters. The new version of the Measure is still shite. (But look at it this way: There are plenty of ways to make life miserable for rural wannabe developers. Use that imagination of yours!)
7. Reality ID: Oregon’s plucky band of morons, the Republican party (No disrespect to morons) wants to turn the Real ID law into a campaign issue by frightening gullible voters with the ‘real idea’ that they won’t be able to get on a plane without a national ID card of some sort. Don’t believe the hype…
8. Act I; Scene I; Interior: Pastors for Peace members on their way to Cuba, crossing the US Canadian border (You have to go to Canada to get to Cuba these days. (How we are going to explain ourselves to future generations is anybody’s guess…). The Department of Homeland Security’s flying monkeys, the Transportation Security Administration agents confiscated a breast pump and a box of stethoscopes. Some party they must be planning! “What can I bring?”
9. Reggie Walton, the judge that sentenced Scooter Libby to two and a half years in Club Fed, was himself hand-picked (Cronied) by the President because he had a reputation for being ‘tough on crime’ – crime committed by the poor and the disenfranchised, that it. The wealthy and the powerful still skate – or scoot, as the case may be…
10. John Conyers, Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee said the decision to commute Libby’s sentence was going to get a little Congressional oversight after all. Apparently you can’t commute a sentence unless the felon has served some time first. (Thus paving to way to a full presidential pardon. There’s going to be a judiciary hearing next week so plan accordingly and stock up on drugs…)
11. Commute This: While you were drinking beer and blowing shit up yesterday, in California a group of progressive and Democratic activists (Note the difference…) were inaugurating the Impeachment Center, an entity devoted solely to the goal of impeaching Bush and Cheney.
12. Bush celebrated the Fourth by telling a bunch of hillbillies (No disrespect to hillbillies) in West Virginia (No disrespect to West Virginia) that he was going to just keep churning along through the blood of others in Iraq…kind of like a poor person trying to get out of New Orleans after the storm…
13. The National War Tax Resistors Coordinating Committee says that more people are refusing to fund Bush’s ‘Foreign Affair.’
14. We may be independent of British rule but we are far from independent of the weather. Fourth of July celebrations in Washington, DC halted yesterday because of the threat of a tornado. Buildings generally closed on the holiday opened their basements as shelters. The National Mall and the West Front of the US Capitol were evacuated due to dangerous weather.
15. Row v. Wade: Meanwhile in that other more rural heartland of American greed and god-given ignorance, the plains states, after spending last week under water, are expecting more rain. Flooding – despite anxious prayers – has been catastrophic. (And there’s no basement of the Smithsonian to hide in; the place is just flat…)
16. Inconvenienced: In Kansas, shoppers at a convenience store stepped over the body of a stabbing victim, snapped a few pictures on the old cell phone, and left with their snacks intact.
17. The BBC reporter Alan Johnston was freed earlier this week but no one noticed because of the roar of illegal fireworks emanating from the US and other nominally democratized nations America has been “helping.”
18. Israelis shot eight Palestinians in the Gaza Strip today. No word as to how many were children. (The Hebrew word for “militant” is “Palestinian.”)
19. Rank: Rumor is that the military is going to investigate a handful of Marines with regard to the Fallujah Massacre. (The “military”? Wha? How about the International Criminal Court….Wait, no…Bush signed off on the idea of an international system of justice years ago. What we have instead is military justice for all. . (Care to place a bet: Rumsfeld will wind up as a lobbyist for defense contractors…)
20. Gimme That Ol Time Religion: In Pakistan’s capital, Islamabad, the stand off at the Red Mosque (It’s called that because its built of striking red bricks, okay, you Cold War fans…) took a quirky turn yesterday. Lal Masjid’s imam, Maulana Abdul Aziz tried to sneak out wearing a burka. (No word as to what he was wearing under that burka. Many favor a sort of modified pole dancer look….) As I was saying, the siege at the mosque continues. So far sixteen people have been killed.
21. Red Lobster: Apparently Vladimir Putin did not have quite as nice a clambake as Bush thought. (See, the mistake Bush keeps making in all his dealings with world leaders is that he assumes that they are all as stupid as he is. And they are not.). Putin says that if the US goes ahead with the plan to site its missile defense razamataz in Eastern Europe, then he, Vladimir fuckin’ Putin, will point his nuclear-armed missiles at Western Europe. And that is how decades of diplomacy and negotiation were undone…
22. We Could Tell You, But Then We’d Have To Kill You: China apparently pressured the World Bank to cut data from a environmental report that found about 750 thousand deaths-by-pollution every year – and that’s low-balling the numbers, is my guess. China denies it.
23. The ruling Fretilin party won East Timor’s parliamentary election.
24. And in Zimbabwe, panicked citizens have emptied the shelves in shops across the country. What happened was this; Robert Mugabe ordered prices for food to be halved. The idea being that this would somehow address the problem of inflation, which currently is running at 10 thousand percent.

 

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