Thursday I'd be preparin' to launch PrrressWench with Peter Leeson, who has written "The Invisible Hook," (get it?), a history of the democracies that we call historic pirate society. 'Tis an eye opener and no mistake.

I needed PIRATES who'd be ready to say "ARRRGH" a lot in the background.

And then I needed rum! A lot of rum!

How did the pirate raise his mast?

He used a wench!

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they can spend years at C!

Yes, I'd be using BOTH THOSE AWFUL JOKES AND MORE, so be sure to put in a landin' party, and check it out.